yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
