I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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