I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
