tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
