Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
