sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
