I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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