she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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