The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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