I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
