can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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