I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
