Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
