I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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