with your own penis?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
