he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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