Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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