I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize