EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have feelings that need drinking.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize