she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
