if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
