so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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