Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
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She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
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I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
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