I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
My dad just said "fuck circus"
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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