I'm really into asian looking animals
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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