Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
