I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i want to swaddle you in tequila
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
We have so much sex to catch up on
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
