Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
