fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
