why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Randomize