I have demons in me.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
