God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
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He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
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You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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