haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
My bed smells like the plague
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
