'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
