I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
