First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
