If that was your dad, he is hot
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize