Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
no, he came in my armpit
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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