i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
