Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize