it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
