i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
