I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
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