discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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