Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
