so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
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