i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
