I don't think brook has ever known best
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
