Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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