I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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