We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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