My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
