Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
