White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
