tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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