I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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