We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
