If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
