i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I can't turn off my feet"
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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