A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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