i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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